How Many Couples Therapy Sessions Should We Book?

Seeking guidance on your couples therapy booking

You’ve taken the step of looking into Couples Therapy as an option for helping you move forward through some sticky issues - well done! Active research is a positive sign. You’re even considering booking in… but you’re wondering how many sessions are necessary - and how many should you book initially? Both great questions. We’ll cut the the chase and outline exactly what our recommendation is below, and then you can read further on if interested in the reasoning for our suggestions.

Our suggestion: 4 + 6

For initial couples therapy bookings we suggest you book four 50 minute sessions and six 110min sessions.

Why this number?… It’s Good Therapy.

Overall, good, effective couples therapy ranges between a total of 12 and 20+ sessions, depending on the complexity of the situation and the needs of each member of the couple. Our recommendation for starting with four 50minute sessions and six 110 minute sessions is driven by the structure of good, effective therapy itself. There are therapists who may start treatment from the very first session, without a structured approach for first assessing the needs present. Be wary of this approach, as it runs the risk of the process being fouled down the track by factors the therapist could have taken into account had they followed an evidence-based process. In contrast, good couples therapy has three phases; firstly, there is an assessment of the issues at play, secondly, treatment based on those needs, and thirdly, relapse prevention - i.e. making sure things ‘stick’. These three phases are often called a Relationship Needs Assessment, Treatment, and Integration / Relapse Prevention, and they each have their own timeframe.

1. Relationship Needs Assessment - 4 x 50 min sessions

Firstly, good couples therapy includes a Relationship Needs Assessment Phase . In Gottman Method Couples Therapy this is comprised of four 50 minute sessions.

In the first session, both members of the couple meet their therapist, who asks about the relationship highs and lows and also (hopefully) sets you at ease. It’s important that you both feel comfortable with your therapist.

The following two sessions are where you’ll meet your therapist individually - one session for you, and one session for your partner. It’s a chance for the therapist to make sure they understand at a deeper level your individual needs, goals ad experience.

In the fourth session of the Relationship needs Assessment phase, your therapist will give you feedback pinpointing the results of the assessment, as well as setting goals with you about addressing he needs that have been identified.

As you cans see, there is some work to be done before treatment, and it is important work. Your relationship is probably at least as important to you as the house you live in, and for that house to be built, there would have been an assessment phase involving land surveyors, an architectural plan, and so on. The maxim ‘measure twice, cut once’ is applicable here - basically, assessment should not be skipped, and good assessment is the reason for the first four sessions of good couples therapy.

2. Treatment - 6 x 110 min sessions

The Treatment Phase can vary significantly depending on your goals and context.

The exact number of sessions needed will depend on your situation.

We prefer to conduct the Treatment Phase in double sessions (i.e. 110 mins) as this allows opportunity for a topic to be explored at depth from the perspective of each member of the couple, making progress faster. However, if scheduling only allows single sessions (50 mins), therapy will still be effective.

In two words: therapist availability.

Here’s our reasoning. Good couples therapy starts with a

Pre-marriage Therapy 

• In couples where there are no/only minor relationship stresses & strains, we suggest booking 3-4 sessions. Full fees: $200 per session.

Couples Therapy

• The number of sessions can range from 12 to 20+. 

• There is the Needs Assessment (assessing strengths and issues) which is a process of 4 sessions.

• Then there is the treatment phase, where we would recommend booking a minimum of 6 sessions.

(Of course clients are welcome to book a single session or 'just a few' in order to test the waters, they just need to be aware follow up sessions may be delayed by availability).

Tip 1: It’s wise to book ahead

Our first recommendation is to book ahead for the whole course of therapy, especially if you are able to do so at no extra cost; and if you are able to cancel sessions without penalty. Most practices allow you to cancel without cost if you do so a week or two ahead, but have a late cancellation fee if cancellations are within 24 hours of the appointment. Why book ahead? One word: Availability. In the past two to three years, couples therapy and individual counselling have both been more widely recognised as valuable and accessible - and both have experienced an uptick in popular usage. Consequently, whilst it used to be the case that you could call a psychology practice and expect to book in within a week or perhaps three if things are busy, now availability of therapists varies much more. You may book The main reason for this is that in the last two years, there has been Limited availability is a fact of life in psychology and counselling at the moment.

If booking for some minor issues or as a ‘relationship check-up’ for self development, you may find booking six sessions is a sufficient start. If seeking to resolve some significant matters, we suggest booking for an initial 16 hours of therapy as described below (for Marathon Couples Therapy, our 2-Day Intensive, see here).

If unsure what to do, call our office and a time can be arranged to discuss your needs with one of our practitioners by phone.

Needs Assessment Phase (preferably in a short time span, e.g. over the course of 1 to 2 weeks)

Appointment 1 : One session for the two of you together to meet with your therapist (50 mins)

Appointment 2: One session hour for just one of you by yourself (50 mins)

Appointment 3: One session for the other partner by themselves (50 mins)

Appointment 4: One session for the 2 of you together - this is your Feedback session (50 mins)

Treatment Phase (varies depending on your needs)

Appointment 5: A double session for the 2 of you together (110 mins)

Appointment 6: A double session for the 2 of you together (110 mins)

Appointment 7: A double session for the 2 of you together (110 mins)

Appointment 8: A double session for the 2 of you together (110 mins)

Appointment 9: A double session for the 2 of you together (110 mins)

Appointment 10: A double session for the 2 of you together (110 mins)

(Fewer sessions may be required, or more - discuss with your therapist as therapy progresses)

Integration/Relapse Prevention Phase

Most therapists wish to consolidate progress and learnings through a final session with a couple, and/or additional sessions are available if you and your therapist deem them necessary in order to integrate new skills and relationship patterns. Discuss with your therapist. There is no need to make additional booking for these at the start of your therapeutic journey.

As mentioned earlier, s sessions can be booked without payment, and bookings can always be cancelled with sufficient notice.

You may book online using the booking button below, or call our office on 3477 9077 during office hours.

The fastest way that dates can be viewed and bookings made by visiting our online booking system (click button below).

Due to high demand we recommend booking your full course of therapy in order to reserve times. There is no need to pay when booking, and you can always cancel with sufficient notice (see T&Cs on our website).

Pre-marriage Therapy 

• In couples where there are no/only minor relationship stresses & strains, we suggest booking 3-4 sessions. Full fees: $200 per session.

Couples Therapy

• The number of sessions can range from 12 to 20. 

• There is the Needs Assessment (assessing strengths and issues) which is a process of 4 sessions.

• Then there is the treatment phase, where we would recommend booking a minimum of 6 sessions.

(Of course clients are welcome to book a single session or 'just a few' in order to test the waters, they just need to be aware follow up sessions may be delayed by availability).

You’re going to be asked to do an ass ton (medical term) of emotional labor: to be vulnerable about your desires, to honest about what you don’t like about your relationship, and to be open to hearing criticism of your own actions. Of course it’ll be enlightening and fulfilling. But it will also be painful and grueling and uncomfortable a lot of the time. Espinoza says many couples come in shortsightedly expecting therapy to be a magic wand. But, just as it took some time for the relationship to deteriorate to this low point, it’s going to take a while to get it back on track and functional. Changing the course of a relationship is like pulling a U-turn in a cruise ship, not a mini cooper. While the specific number of sessions depends entirely on the couple and the approach of their therapist, on average, you can expect to spend anywhere from 12-30 hours, according to the therapists I spoke to. At one hour a week, that means it can take over six months of weekly sessions to get to a point where a couple feels like they’re ready to stop going to therapy.

Signs your relationship may need support

More couples than ever are seeking relationship counselling to learn quality communication skills. Open and clear communication can be learnt. Here are some signs that you and your partner may benefit from learning some quality communication skills:

• Disconnection – you or your partner may feel like the connection that was once in your relationship is slipping away. There are many reasons why this feeling can occur. Often, it can leave us feeling unseen or unheard.

• Passive Aggressive Behaviour – often this kind of communication can appear calm on the outside but is actually a symptom of resentment or contempt.

• Increased Arguments – conflict in relationships is normal and healthy, if it is dealt with calmly and respectfully. If arguments are increasing or cannot seem to be resolved, it may be time for some professional support.

• Unhealthy Habits – often when we are frustrated or stressed, we can resort to some unhealthy communication habits, such as yelling, name-calling or swearing. These habits are not helpful in resolving conflict, as they can often cause our partner to shut down emotionally. There are healthy communication habits that can be learned.

How Can Counselling Help?

In the busyness of life it can be difficult to find the time to get to a counsellor, however, relationship issues surrounding miscommunication and conflict are best dealt with early. To provide flexibility and support to couples navigating the pressures of everyday life, we offer face-to-face and Telehealth appointments during and after business hours.

Relationship counselling (sometimes called couples therapy or marriage counselling) can assist you in finding effective strategies to improve communication, conflict resolution, navigating expectations for the future, increasing appreciation and rebuilding intimacy. When counselling couples, we assess each client’s needs and use an appropriate selection the treatments below:

• Gottman Method Couples Therapy is an approach that includes a detailed assessment of the couple’s relationship and integrates evidence-based interventions based on the Sound Relationship House Theory. The aims of Gottman Method Couples Therapy are to develop quality verbal communication, develop healthy conflict styles, increase intimacy, respect, and affection and build empathy.

• Mindfulness and relaxation techniques bring your awareness to the present moment, in order to give your body and mind a break from exhausting negativity and worry. These strategies can also help train the mind in directing your attention towards those things you want to focus on and can help with feelings of being ‘stuck’ or ‘flooded’ during conflict.

• Solution Focused Therapy helps you to identify goals that are meaningful to you, measure where you currently sit in relation to those goals and identify a range of options to help you navigate the gap.

• Prepare/Enrich is a strengths-based approach, which includes a thorough assessment of the couple’s relationships to identify specific strength and growth areas. It integrates research-based interventions and exercises that teach communication and conflict resolution skills. This approach is particularly useful for couples who are in the early stages of their relationship (e.g. 0-5 years).

• Psychoeducation is the process of learning about and understanding mental health, wellbeing and relationships. It is similar to physical education, where an individual learns about how their body experiences and reacts to different stressors - but instead the education is applied to the relationship.

For some simple tips on how to keep your connection strong, consider listening to: The Date Forever Podcast - The Simple Things with Megan and Nahum Kozak.

Book an appointment or give us a call

• We are available from 8am until 8.30pm on Mondays, Tuesdays and Thursdays - as well as 8am to 5.30pm on Wednesdays and Fridays.

If loneliness is affecting you or someone you love, let us help.

Lighthouse Relationships serves clients based locally in New Farm, Teneriffe, Kangaroo Point,Fortitude Valley, East Brisbane, and Brisbane central. We’re also just a short trip from Albion, Herston, West End, Bowen Hills, Spring Hill, Kelvin Grove, Petrie Terrace, Highgate Hill, Norman Park, Hawthorne, Wooloowin, Wilston, Windsor, Nundah, Clayfield and Balmoral - and we’re also available for Telehealth or zoom sessions from anywhere worldwide. Street parking is available, and the New Farm office is 300 metres from the local New Farm ferry terminal, or direct across the road from the nearest Brisbane City bus stop. If you feel we are a good fit for you, we welcome clients from anywhere.