What is the Success rate of Relationship Counselling? (And how you can sway the odds in your favour).

Is Couples Therapy Worth it?

If you’re thinking about relationship counseling, you will, most likely, have spent time wondering - is it actually worth it? This is a great question. The answer depends on a few factors – such as when and why you're going, and the kind of couples counselling you opt for. The good news is that there's a good chance it can really help. In fact, relationship counselling helps most of the people who give it a try – even those going through some extremely tough times in their relationships.

Couples with Therapy do Better than 80% of Couples who do not seek Treatment

Thankfully, the research evidence shows that evidence-based couples therapy, such as Gottman Method Couples Therapy, has an impressive track record. A review of the impact of relationship counselling published in September 2022 shows that those who undergo couple therapy experience very significant benefits. By the end of therapy, couples who are facing issues and seek therapy tend to do better than approximately 80% of those who are struggling but do not receive any treatment.

It does not need to be said that this is a huge level of efficacy. The treatment works. In fact, this improvement surpasses the efficacy observed in the most effective drugs and therapies for individual mental health disorders. These outcomes underscore the considerable positive impact of couple therapy on relational and individual wellbeing.

The best part? These changes are not just temporary; they tend to last.

So, how can you swing the odds in your favour and benefit the most from relationship counselling?

The Sooner Couples Begin, the Sooner they Feel Better & the Better the Outcome

At some stage there is a ‘fork in the road’, a point at which one decides to go ahead and try. The research evidence shows that couples who seek relationship counselling earlier tend to have higher success rates. This makes intuitive sense - the sooner couples choose to address issues and take action, the less time there is for further damage or hurt to happen. On the other side of that equation, the longer couples use an avoidance strategy, the longer issues have opportunity to escalate - negative patterns can deepen over time if left to themselves.

Unfortunately, most couples wait six years before seeking help with a problem. While it is never too late to seek help, taking action sooner improves outcomes.

On a practical note for wherever you are right now - whether you’ve struggled for six months or six years - the research is clear: if you make a start now, the outcomes of couples therapy will be better than if you start in several more months - and much better than if you give it another year.

Know what You want from Couples Counselling

In any long-term relationship, there are bound to be various stressors and challenges. However, attempting to tackle all these issues simultaneously in couple's therapy might hinder real progress.

A more effective approach is to pinpoint one or two of the most significant threats to your relationship and prioritise addressing them first. By establishing clear objectives, you can benefit more rapidly. Having well-defined objectives allows you and your therapist to create a specific action plan tailored to your needs. This is part of the reason that Gottman Method Couples Therapy, our therapy of choice at Lighthouse Relationships, has an assessment phase as the first part of therapy, where your goals are established together.

Being on the same page regarding your therapy goals significantly improves your chances of positive outcomes. Research supports this idea, revealing that couples who share some agreement on the primary issues in their relationships are more likely to experience benefits from the therapeutic process.

Choose a Qualified Relationship Counsellor that you Connect With

Choose a counsellor who can meet two criteria for you; ensure that they are trained in a specific method of therapy for working with couples; and that you connect with them.

Unfortunately, some counsellors list ‘couples therapy’ on their website as something that they do and have experience in, but have not had specific training, or had training several years ago but have not updated their skills. The research would show that these therapists are less likely to be able to manage the complex dynamics of working ‘dyadically’ ie, the factors that come into play once you are no longer working with an individual. Look for specific couples-related training, such as Gottman Method Couples Therapy, or Emotionally-Focussed Couples Therapy, as these have the strongest base of research and evidence.

Secondly, there needs to be a level of trust and rapport with your therapist for best outcomes. Make sure in your early sessions with your therapist that you feel comfortable with them - a good quality connection with your therapist is a significant factor in the success of therapy.

Improve the odds of Successful Relationship Counselling

To recap, if you are considering therapy, evidence-based therapy works for about 70% of couples, with long-lasting positive changes.

You can sway the odds in your favour by:

• Seeking help earlier rather than later

• Setting clear objectives

• Finding a qualified therapist with the right training

• Building a strong connection with your therapist

We hope this information helps you, wherever you might be at on your journey.